My One & Done
by TamTam6
Summary: A complicated yet romantic story between Rick and Kate "depending on the real Castle with some of my imagination"..Rated T for coming chapters.
1. Misunderstanding

_**Its too bad, but i don't own the characters. Except for the mysterious guy! he is MINE!**_

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

Castle came home and shut the door firmly behind him, then went straight to his study and sat on the chair with his hands formed in fists now. Very angry very frustrated of what he just saw. Without thinking, he pulled the phone from his jacket's pocket and dialed 'Kate.

It was Kate's day off. It was almost 8pm and she was sitting on her couch; watching TV, when she felt her phone vibrating. It was Castle. A smile formed on her face. "Yes, Castle!" she responded in a very normal voice which made him angrier than before. He didn't respond because his mind was else where now. All he could think of was her in the other guy's arms. How could she do that to him?

"Hello!" Beckett said when she got no answer, and that brought Castle back to reality.

"Are you seeing someone?" His voice was full of anger and hurt.

"Excuse me!" she was so confused now, all she could think of was, "_Is he trying to ask me out?'_

"Are... You... seeing some one?" he repeated himself, "you know, like dating someone!" now his voice tone was higher. Kate noticed that this wasn't him asking her out. This was much more than that, because he seemed either drunk, or he was really… really mad at her.

"Why do you ask? Castle, do you have a blind date for me?" she said it with a teasing tone.

"I'm not joking here. Answer my question Kate".

_'What the hell is going on' _she thought. "Castle, are you drunk?"

"I wish I was then I would have forgotten what I saw by tomorrow morning" eyes full of tears, a betrayal tears. How could she do that to him, after telling him she has to take down that wall she had built inside and basically telling him to wait for her? He was so faithful since then. He didn't have any kind of relationships with women.

Kate felt by his tone that this was a serious matter. "What is it that you saw that made u call me and yell at me?" she was angry as well now, because she had no idea what was going on.

"You know what, I shouldn't have called. Have a nice evening, Detective!" with that he ended the call, without even letting her answer him.

He turned off his phone and just sat there, eyes shut, thinking.

On the other side of the phone, Kate was shocked by his behavior. "Detective"! Since when he calls her that, besides, he never ends the call. It's always her who ends the call, and most importantly he never gets mad at her. _"Wait"!_ She had a flash back for the summer: he was mad at her when she disappeared after the shooting and didn't call him. He stayed mad at her until she told him she broke up with Josh.

She started to build a theory: "what the hell is going on!" she said, whispering to herself.

Now, they both were thinking about each other. Rick was frustrated by what he saw earlier while Kate was so angry for not knowing why Castle acted like that. She picked up her phone to call him but then she put it back on the table. knowing Castle after all these years, He never gets angry and when he does it has to be really a big deal. So, instead she sat there with her thoughts.

Meanwhile the loft's door opened. Rick heard the noise and went to see if it was Alexis coming back from the morgue, she was busy with Laine a lot these days, but, instead he found his mother.

"Oh ... mother, it's you" he turned back to his study.

"I know u don't like me staying here, but really Richard darling! Is this a way to say hello? I didn't teach u to be rude son!"

He turned to face her, "Sorry, I'm just in a bad mood, I'll go get some rest, When Alexis comes home let me know, I haven't seen her today".

Who was he kidding here? This was Martha. She read his face right away.

"Is there something wrong? Did you have a fight with Beckett?" she knew it had to be that because he never gets that serious unless it's about Kate.

Ignoring his mother, Castle went to his bedroom and threw himself on the bed with a long _Sigh_.

Martha went after him, "Richard, are you okay?"

"I will be, when u let me get some rest mother." he responded with his face buried in the pillow.

Yeah, well, that was not going to happen. "You can talk to me, you know. " she was now standing closer to his bed.

"Will you, pleaaase, leave me alone so I can get some sleep" His headache was getting really painful now.

"When are you going to put an end to this? You have to live your life. Ask her out. If she doesn't want to, then you should move on ..." she went on and on, and Castle, knowing that she won't leave him alone until he tells her what was wrong, stood up, went to his study, grabbed his phone and went out of the loft, leaving Martha standing in his bedroom.

He took a cab, gave the driver an address and stared through the window, thinking. And before he could find an explanation to the events of this day, the driver told him, "sir, we are here."

Looking confused of where he was, he gave the driver money and went out of the car. Castle found himself facing Kate's building. He must have given the driver her address, without realizing.

Castle went upstairs and when he reached her apartment, he froze facing the door. '_What am I doing here?'_ After 15min, He was still there, sitting beside the door; in the cold.

Carried away with his thoughts when a sudden noise brought him back to reality. He looked up and saw Kate looking at him confused.

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><p><em><strong>sorry for the short chapter ,this is my 1st story Review so i can see if my mission was successful or not.<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>I got your reviews! thank you . and i am trying to find a beta reader (I found one! my friend she helped me a lot to update this chapter) am very sorry for the mistakes hope i didn't ruin the story because of that !.<strong>_

_**i did try to fix some of the mistakes by my own so if i ask you to re-read this chapter and tell me if i fixed most of them ,will you hate me for that, lol .**_

_**i usually express my love for this show through my videos on youtube, so bear with me this is new for me, and i will try my best to avoid the mistakes next time.**_

_**and i see some of you is really thinking about what castle saw!**_


	2. Jealousy & Drinks

**_Cool ending for ch1 hah! .lol don't hate me but I love to tease you and I will do that often so get used to it._**

**_Again characters are not mine_**_ :(...** But I own something here! Yes i do! The Mystery Guy who was hugging Kate! :)**_

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><p><em>Before we start chapter 2 here is a reminder of chapter 1.<em>

Castle was so upset from something he saw earlier that day. And now Kate was angry as well, because he called her and was practically yelling at her. Then he ended the call, and she had no idea why he acted like that.

"When are you going to put an end to this? You have to live your life. Ask her out. If she doesn't want to, then you should move on ..." she went on and on, and castle, knowing that she won't leave him alone until he tells her what was wrong, stood up, went to his study, grabbed his phone and went out of the loft, leaving Martha standing in his bedroom.

He took a cab, gave the driver an address and stared through the window, thinking. And before he could find an explanation to the events of this day, the driver told him, "sir, we are here."

Looking confused of where he was, he gave the driver money and went out of the car. Castle found himself facing Kate's building. He must have given the driver her address, without realizing.

Castle went upstairs and when he reached her apartment, he froze facing the door. '_What am I doing here?' _ After 15min, He was still there, sitting beside the door; in the cold.

Carried away with his thoughts when a sudden noise brought him back to reality. He looked up and saw Kate looking at him confused.

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

"Castle!" that was all she said. But the look on her face said it all.

He tried to stand up, not looking into her eyes "mmm … I ... I need to leave ".

That's all he managed to say. Turning around to walk, while all he was thinking of is to push her inside the apartment, and interrogate her about that guy she was hugging. He wanted to tell her how much he was hurt and suffering right now.

Castle started to walk when he felt her hand on his arm. "Rick! Wait ".

That was all she needed to say to stop him, His first name. He turned to face her so quickly their faces were inches apart. Silence took place for minutes neither of them talking just looking at each other.

Rick was lost in her eyes. He forgot why he was there; he forgot how she made him feel two hours ago.

"aahhmm" that made them jump from their daze and turn their now very angry faces to see who cut them off. Kate was angry, But relieved at the same time. She wasn't ready to what that daze was going to end up to. Meanwhile Castle looked like he was going to murder whoever made that sound.

"Your order Miss Beckett!" the pizza boy was talking to Kate, but his eyes were on Castle. The look he was getting from him made the young man take a step back.

"Thank you, keep the change" Kate had her purse in her hands already when she opened the door. She heard a noise and she was so hungry waiting for the pizza boy, so she thought _it must be him_. But, surprised and confused, she found Castle sitting on the floor.

The poor boy left them as fast as he could.

"You hungry, Castle?" Kate offered with a teasing tone, but she noticed that sad, anger look on his face again.

She went inside and only when Castle was about to follow her, Kate's phone rang. And she answered "Beckett".

"Yeah, sure, pick me up in 30min?" Castle's eyes were like fire burning. He stopped in his place, looked at her. She was still on the phone, not facing him. He couldn't take it to hear more.

"Hey, Castle, I want you to meet …"she turned to face him once she ended the call, but he wasn't there any more.

Kate stayed there for a minute trying to realize what was going on with this awkward Castle behavior today. She went out to see if he was in the hallway. But there was no sign of him. She decided to call him, but his phone was off. Kate went back inside and took a slice of pizza while trying to figure what to wear. She had only 30minutes to get ready.

She decided to wear her dark blue jeans and the red blouse. After having two other slices of pizza she went to the bathroom, took a quick shower. But, her mind was with Castle. She thought of calling Alexis or Martha. But then, it might be nothing and she will worry them for no reason.

30minutes later she was ready and waiting.

Meanwhile Castle was lost in his own world. Walking to nowhere, trying to get Kate out of his mind.

Knowing that she has a date, and won't be there for sure, He finally decided to go to the 'Old Haunt' and have a drink maybe that will help him forget.

Castle went to the bar "bring me the strongest drink you have in here" he told the bartender, then added "lots of it" and went to sit in his regular spot.

Kate's door bell rang. She got her coat, her phone, and her keys and opened the door. With a beautiful smile she hugged the guy who was waiting outside then locked the door and they both walked out of the building.

"Where do you wanna go?" the guy asked her smiling.

"Mmm ... Well, there is this place, for a friend of mine its called the old haunt, we can go there".

He nodded to her "lead the way then".

Castle was on his 4th glass by now and he was still feeling bad. Though, a little bit lost but the pain was still there. He asked the bartender for 2 more glasses "make it stronger man! I need to forget".

Hearing Kate's voice, Castle shut his eyes, put his head between his hands to stop it, but the voice was getting closer.

When there was no mistake that this wasn't his imagination. He opened his eyes and looked up. There she was; Kate Beckett very happy and stunning as always sitting to the bar with a guy, a handsome guy.

"Are you kidding me!" he said to himself.

Trying not to look at them, but when he saw them hugging again, it was too late to stop, because he was already standing behind them now.

"Hey" he said normally without yelling. Once Kate and the guy turned their faces to him, Castle punched the guy in the face and knocked him down on the floor.

"What the hell Castle!" Kate pushed him away and bent down to help the now bleeding guy to stand up.

Castle was so drunk that he was shocked of what he just did. He left them and went down to his office.

Fortunately the guy was ok, "its nothing Katie, don't worry about it" he said with a smile.

"Who is that? A jealous boyfriend!" the guy added with a grin on his face.

"This is the friend I told you about".

"The owner of this place?"

"Yep, are you ok?" she was very concerned and was going to kill Castle for doing this.

"Yea, I'm fine".

"Put these on your eye, I will be right back" she handed him the ice cubes that she asked the bartender to bring.

"Thanks" he took them from her and did as he was told.

Castle was having his 7th glass in his office downstairs.

"You better have a good reason for what you just did" he turned to see Beckett standing behind him so very angry.

"Are you drunk?" she saw it in his eyes. He turned his face away "I'm sorry for ruining your date, is he ok?"

"Seriously?".

"Kate, why are you here!, go sit with your date. Laugh, hug, and do whatever you two want to do" he took another sip of his drink.

She moved towards him, he could hear her heals getting closer step by step.

"Are you jealous, Rick!" she now knows why he was acting so weird; he must have seen her when she was hugging John outside her apartment this afternoon. But, _'what was he doing there anyway? Maybe he was coming to see me? After all it was my day off and we didn't see each other yesterday either'._

"I am not j..." He turned around to face her while answering without knowing how close she was standing behind him. His movement made their noises touch. "jea-lous" he continued his sentence, looking into her green eyes. His were already darkened.

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><p><strong><em>Again i don't have a beta reader yet. But I think I'm getting better here hah? What do u think?<em>**

**_Well you can tell me that and what u think about the story so far by hitting that review button down there in the middle, yes that one._**

**_I thank you all for reviews. Can't believe I updated 2 chapters in 24hours... All for you guys._**


	3. Bat Cave

**_I really should be writing my graduation research now... But you guys made my day with your reviews and WTH! I can do that research thing tomorrow. Today I will try to update ch3 for you!_**

**_I know the first two chapters might have been so mysterious, but now I really have some good ideas to where I'm going with this. And if you have any suggestions feel free to send them to me. This will get more hurt and comfort things in it for the coming chapters, just a spoiler for you guys._**

**_I wish I owned these characters because I would have never put an end to this amazing show Castle!_**

**_Again John is MINE! HAHAHA yeah I'm so happy that i own him at least!_**

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><p><em>Reminder for Ch2<em>

"Are you jealous, Rick!" she now knows why he was acting so weird; he must have seen her when she was hugging John outside her apartment this afternoon. But, _'what was he doing there anyway? Maybe he was coming to see me? After all it was my day off and we didn't see each other yesterday either'._

"I am not j..." He turned around to face her while answering without knowing how close she was standing behind him. His movement made their noises touch. "jea-lous" he continued his sentence, looking into her green eyes. His were already darkened.

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

Kate shivered from the noise brush they just had. He felt her and his eyes got darker. She knew what he was thinking of. But she wasn't ready for this. But again, when will she ever be if she keeps hiding. With that thought she stayed in his zone.

She was very open to him during these past few months. She even didn't mind him flirting with her like he always does. And with the last case they had, he was very clearly flirting with her _"you look cute when you get angry, but not when you get angry with me"_ he added at the last moment when she stared at him and he expected her to yell or put some distance between them. But instead he was shocked with her smiling at his statement.

Kate tried to take a step back and get the hell out of there. Run like she always does, But his eyes where like magnet and she couldn't move a muscle.

Rick shifted his eyes from hers, down to her lips. His hands traveled up to her smooth silky hair. She was lost in his touch. Her eyes went shut saving the moment.

"Castle!" she said it with trembling low voice.

"You are so beautiful Kate". Now his left hand was moving to her jaw line, until it reached her lips.

"Kate, open your eyes" he asked her with a little anger in his voice but, passionate at the same time. He wanted to kiss her with her eyes open. He didn't want her to think of some one else while kissing him.

She did what he asked her and just when Castle leaned to kiss her, he was very close that she could feel his lips almost brushing hers.

"Tag...tig tog..." a loud noise interrupted them again.

Kate stepped back from Rick's embrace. Castle was very disappointed with the universe for messing with him twice today. He went to see what the source of this damn noise was.

Just when he was moving to see where it was coming from, another "tag—tag tig dom" it was like some one dropped something while running away. Now Kate was behind Rick, hand on her gun. She touched his arm and gave him a sign to stand behind her.

The voice was coming from the old tunnels which they discovered during a case they solved before Castle bought the 'Old Haunt".

She asked for his help to move the book shelves that covered the entrance to the tunnels. Kate was very angry with him at the moment for not closing the way to the tunnel after the case was closed as she told him to do. She gave him the dead stare. They counted to 3 and moved the shelves together.

It was dark in there and apparently whoever that was in there just a moment ago is gone now. But this was Beckett, she never lets go anything before catching the bad guy. She took Castle's flash light that was on the table and went into the tunnel. Castle followed her not sure of what was out there but he was too drunk to have any theories right now to stop her from going in there.

"Castle, Stop it. This is not the time"

"What? What did I do?"

"I feel your hands on my back ... lower back" she turned the light on his face.

"Oh... that. Ok hands off, Sorry"

They walked through the tunnel almost for 10minutes.

"OMG… John, I forgot John" Kate stopped after realizing that she totally forgot about the poor guy that was bleeding because of her in the bar.

"Really" Castle was angry now. "Tell me Kate, why did you even come to see me down here? Hah" he was yelling now and being down there surrounded with nothing but stones his voice was 3times louder.

"This is really not the time to discuss this Castle. Lets go back, whoever was in here had got out by now. We can check it in the morning when you are not drunk"

"No we will discuss this right here right now" He took the flash from her hand to be in control of the light so she can't run from this conversation. But he dropped it while he was trying to take it from her and it crashed on the floor, darkness filled the place.

"Nicely done, Castle" she bent down trying to find it and fix it if it can be fixed.

"Oops! Sorry, guess you will have to stay here with me until someone gets down to the office and sees the open way to the tunnels and finds us"

He is really drunk, Kate thought.

"Move Castle, let me find the way back" he put his hand against the wall preventing her from taking any step towards the office.

"I think your date is gone by now, so why are ya in a hurry Beckett" she could feel the heat rising between them.

"Castle I still have my gun with me, you know that right?"

"ohh… I'm scared!" the guy was really drunk.

"Ok Rick. What's your problem?" she was facing him, very close they both could feel each other breathe.

"My problem is you and your lies" this took her by surprise. She thought he is talking about the "_I love you Kate_ "that she lied about and told him she doesn't remember anything, twice.

"You told me you can't be in a relationship that you want until that wall comes down" he took a step closer toward her while she took a step backward.

"Castle, lets get out of here and we can discuss this later" she tried to cross him, but he pushed her against the wall.

"Why? So you can run and never talk about it again? Like when we kissed trying to save the boys? Or when we were at a hotel in LA? Oh I see, you want to go back to that guy up there, don't you?"

"Castle, let me go" she didn't want him to let her go. She wanted to kiss him, but he was drunk and she didn't want to ruin all the waiting they did for one wrong moment.

He took a step back from her giving her the space to move. He loved her so much that he would let her go if that's what she wanted "Kate" his voice was so sad and full of hurt. She couldn't stand it any more.

She lifted her both hands to his face. He turned his face so her palm was on his lips and kissed her palm softly.

She brought her face to his check and kissed him there. Very sweet; very innocent kiss.

Rick was so out of control after this. He turned his face and attacked her lips. Kissing her with all the hurt and the pain he was feeling. He was pressed to her now very close and they were kissing passionately. His arms wondering all over her body when a sudden light took them out of their world and back to reality.

"Really, guys!" it was Lanie with Esposito and a flash light in their hands.

"Why can't you two act normal for once? You ignore your feelings for each other when we all see it and finally when you find your sense you do it in this bat cave?"

"Seriously, bro, this is creepy" Espo added after Lanie.

Beckett and Castle being cut off for the 3rd time in one day were shocked of the way the universe was playing with them.

"Shut up Espo and lead the way so we can get the hell out of here" Beckett stated and started to walk pushing Castle on the chest and turning him around to walk as well.

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><p><strong><em>Wow, I'm amazed by my ability to write 3 chapters in 36 hours! i know they have a lot of mistakes. But i really worked very hard to get the story to you the way i want it.<em>**

**_Ok hope you like it more now, I am so excited for the next chapters... and I want to see what you got from all this so far? So press on review and make me happy_**

**_Thanks for all of your reviews guys._**


	4. What Started Nice Ended Bad

**_First of all I want to thank all of you who reviewed for ch3... Although I was kind of disappointed cause I got few reviews for ch3.. You didn't like it? Or you haven't read it yet! Well I hope it's the second one_**

**_We did it last night! We trend #DoTheCastle worldwide...awesome... You guys are the best fandom ever! I'm so excited for the next episode (47second)._**

**_mmmmmm no . Characters still not mine. But i am happy to own John, yeah don't be jealous :P._**

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><p><em>Reminder for ch3!<em>

She brought her face to his check and kissed him there. Very sweet; very innocent kiss.

Rick was so out of control after this. He turned his face and attacked her lips. Kissing her with all the hurt and the pain he was feeling. He was pressed to her now very close and they were kissing passionately. His arms wondering all over her body when a sudden light took them out of their world and back to reality.

"Really, guys!" it was Lanie with Esposito and a flash light in their hands.

"Why can't you two act normal for once? You ignore your feelings for each other when we all see it and finally when you find your sense you do it in this bat cave?"

"Seriously, bro, this is creepy" Espo added after Lanie.

Beckett and Castle being cut off for the 3rd time in one day were shocked of the way the universe was playing with them.

"Shut up Espo and lead the way so we can get the hell out of here" Beckett stated and started to walk pushing Castle on the chest and turning him around to walk as well.

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

On their way to the office Espo kept teasing Beckett about the situation they caught them in.

"It was her idea. She fantasizes about me as Batman" drunk Castle, yelled with a laugh and took a slap on the back of his head from Beckett.

"We heard someone dropping something, so we went to see who was there. But he got away" Beckett was explaining while they found their way out of the tunnels.

"Hmmm, so you two decided to take the chance and experience your fantasies about each other in there!" Lanie couldn't hold her smirk at Esposito's tease.

"Anyway, we should come back tomorrow and check it again when some people are not drunk" she looked at Castle.

"Yo, Castle! Is it true you hit a guy at the bar tonight?" Esposito asked and before Castle could answer him Kate cut their conversation off "OMG, I have to go check on John! How long have we been down here?" She looked to Castle for an answer but instead he went to his drink's table and pour a glass of whisky for himself and drunk it all in one shot.

Kate didn't make any comment on that. She left the three of them and went up stairs. There was no sign of John any where. She asked the bartender about him.

"Hey, did you see where the guy I was sitting with a while ago disappeared to?"

"mmmmm ... the one who got punched in the face by Mr. Castle?"

"Yeah, that one" Kate took a long breath.

"He went right after you left, like 10minutes after you were gone. But he did leave you this note" the bartender gave her a note.

''_Katie, I hope I didn't cause any problems between you and your boyfriend. Don't worry about me I'm fine, Will call you later. Love: your brother John"_

She took another long breath put the note in her pocket and told the bartender to bring her a Martini.

Castle was very drunk by that time. Especially after Kate left him and run back to the guy up at the bar.

Lanie and Esposito tried to make him stop "let me drive you home bro, you can't drive. You had too much drinks" But Castle assured them he was ok and he wasn't that much drunk "you go guys, I will stick around a bit" With that they left him down there and went to see Beckett.

"I will wait for you outside chica, night boss" said Esposito and walked away from the two women heading outside.

"What's got into him? Castle I mean. He is so out of character!" Lanie was looking into Kate's eyes trying to take the truth out of her.

"I have no idea" Kate thought she was fooling Lanie,

"Not a chance. I'm not letting this go Kate. You and I will have a little chat tomorrow"

"Espo is waiting and its cold outside. Don't make him wait longer, go" Kate was trying to get herself out of this conversation.

"Night sweetie" Lanie gave her a smile and went out to meet Esposito.

It was already late and the bar was empty. Only the two bartenders were there. One was pouring another glass of Martini for Kate while the other went to Castle's office. Two minutes later Castle and the second bartender came to the bar.

"Are you sure Mr. Castle? We can stay and help"

"No, Tony you two go. I will close the bar tonight" Kate noticed he was hardly in balance. She never saw Castle get this much drunk. Part of her was happy that she had this effect on him, that he loves her this much. But the other part was feeling bad to see him so hurt and lost.

"You can go guys, I'll help Mr. Castle. Good night" Kate stood up from her place.

"Very well, good night" said the two boys and went out leaving Castle and Beckett alone.

"Leave it Castle I will do it you can't even walk straightly. We don't want anymore blood scenes today" he was looking at her with his eyes all serious.

Castle went behind the bar to pour another drink for himself while Beckett was almost done. "Don't you think you had enough for today?" He felt her behind him very close. She smells like cherries _'this woman will drive me crazy'_ he thought while she took the bottle from his hand.

"Lets take you home Rick" she helped him to turn around and walk toward the door.

"Where are your keys?"

He handed them to her. Kate turned the lights off and took the keys from him. "Come on, move" he was looking to her eyes, her lips without realizing what he was doing. They got out and she locked the door.

"Stay here, don't move" she left him resting his head against the wall while she found a cab.

"Hey, open your eyes. Don't sleep yet." She put her arm around his waist '_damn he is huge and heavy'_ she helped him to sit in the car.

"Where you heading ma'am?" asked the driver.

"Don't want to go home like this Kate. They'll get worried if they saw me like this" now his head was resting on her shoulder, eyes shut.

She looked down at him, he looked so handsome. She gave the driver her address.

When they were few blogs away from her building Castle fell on her, head resting in her lap.

Kate didn't know what to do. Wake him up? But he looked so peaceful. Her both arms were in the air now, looking at him with no clue how she will make him walk to her apartment.

"We're here; ma'am" That took her out of her gaze. She gave the driver what she owned him,

"Can... can you help me to get him out of the car please" she asked the man who nodded with agreement and got out of the car. Headed to where Castle was and opened the door with Kate's help they carried him out of the car.

"Hmm… Kate?" Castle mumbled something she couldn't figure what he said.

"Castle... Can you open your eyes for a sec. God you're heavy!" Her voice was breathless,

"I'm ok, I can walk" he moved their hands off of him and tried to walk but in the wrong direction.

"This way Rick, just hold my arm"

"Thank you so much for your help sir." She added turning to look at the driver

"No worries ma'am, but the dude here will have really serious headache tomorrow morning" with a smile the driver left.

"Come on Castle ….litt ...le, help here" she was having hard time to talk while his heavy body was leaning on her.

"We're almost there" It was hell making him go upstairs. He stopped every now and then looking at her, touching her lips with his thumb.

"Castle I swear if you stop one more time I will shoot u and end this torture, God " They arrived to her apartment ,finally.

She took out her keys while Castle's head was resting on her front shoulder.

"Castle, move… let me open the door" he circled his hands around her waist. "I Low o Kate" he was mumbling again.

She opened the door and helped him to get inside closing the door behind them with her leg. She took him to her bedroom because the couch was too small for him. He will easily drop to the floor with a small movement.

"There… lie down" she stood up to leave when he hold her arm.

"Don't go. Stay" _'damn to that bedroom voice he has'_ she hardly was controlling herself.

"Let me bring you some water, won't be gone for long" she gave him a smile and left to the kitchen.

When she came back Castle was asleep. He looked so innocent. She sat on the bed near him just enjoying quite Castle.

"You came back!' he mumbled in his sleep with a smile spread on his face.

"I'm not going anywhere Castle!"

When he was gone to his dream land, she left the bedroom and went to the living room. Sat on her couch and turned on the TV.

When Kate opened her eyes there was light outside the windows, she must have fell asleep while watching TV. Looking to her father's watch it was 6a.m. She tried to get up but her head was hurting like she just got banged on the head. _'I better call and tell them I'm sick, I wont be any good for them with this headache'_ she decided and took her phone.

"Hey boss!" said Ryan.

"Morning Ryan, I'm not feeling good today. Tell the Captain I can't come today and …."

"Don't worry; we will do your paper work Beckett. Have a nice day!"

"Uh... And say hi to Castle" she could feel him smirking through the phone.

"Bye Ryan" she ended with a smile. They were her family. They always protected her but not from Castle because they knew how much he cared about her.

She went to her bedroom to check on Castle, He was still asleep. She couldn't help it but to get closer to him. She kneeled on the floor next to him. Her face was so close to his. She pressed a small kiss to his forehead.

"Come here" he moved over and pulled her next to him on the bed. "You were pretending to be asleep?" she narrowed her eyes on him.

"Well, you weren't going to come near me if you knew I was awake" he smirked, but his eyes were still shut.

She curled beside him. His arms holding her close to him, Kate's back was against his chest, they fell asleep like that.

Few hours later Kate heard her phone ringing she opened her eyes. Something was different she felt. This is her bed but, she turned and saw Castle asleep next to her .His arms on her hips. She smiled remembering how he fooled her to sleep next to him earlier that morning.

Again she heard her phone ringing.

'_Where is my phone anyway'_ she tried to get out of the bed very carefully not to wake Castle up. She remembered she left it in the living room when she called Ryan earlier.

Kate went to the living room. It was 11a.m.

"Beckett" she answered her phone.

"Oh. Hey John! How is the eye today?"

"Well you better put more ice on it; again I'm so sorry for last night. I will make it up for you, I promise"

"Traaack".

She turned around to see her apartment's door close very hard.

"Talk to you later John, Take care and tell dad I said hello".

Putting the phone on the table she hurried to the bedroom but there was no Castle in there that's for sure. 'He must've heard her talk to John and got angry and left'

"OMG" she yelled to her self _' I didn't tell him yet about John'_ she thought with her hand on her mouth.

"So stupid Kate, well done"

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><p><em>Ok I tried to make this chapter longer than the others .<em>

_Like it? REVIEW Hate it? REVIEW Have any ideas want to share or let me know if you think its getting interesting REVIEW ._

_xoxo_


	5. Lost Brother & Naked Castle

**_Sorry for taking me long to update. It's really crazy how things are going around me now. The research the exams all at the same time... But I tried to update as soon as possible._**

**_Thanks for the reviews they really make me think of more twists to add into this story. 47 Seconds was WOW!_**

**_I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS … its heart breaking actually I know! John is mine though!_**

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><p><em>Reminder for chapter 4<em>

"Beckett" she answered her phone.

"Oh. hey John! How is the eye today?"

"Well you better put more ice on it; again I'm so sorry for last night. I will make it up for you, I promise"

"Traaack".

She turned around to see her apartment's door close very hard.

"Talk to you later John, Take care and tell dad I said hello"

Putting the phone on the table she hurried to the bedroom but there was no Castle in there that's for sure. 'He must've heard her talk to John and got angry and left'

"OMG" she yelled to her self _' I didn't tell him yet about John'_ she thought with her hand on her mouth.

"So stupid Kate, well done"

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

After what happened the night before Kate didn't have the chance to tell Castle about John. She was intended on telling him at the bar that's why she took John there, to introduce him to Castle. But Castle greeted the man with a punch in the face and after that Kate went down to Castle's office to tell him. But again something pop up. It seemed the universe was playing with them!

Afterword's Kate decided to call Castle and tell him the whole story. How he took the wrong impression about her and John. But he rejected her call and turned off his phone.

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><p>It was one month ago when her dad had called and asked her to meet him in a restaurant. She went there and saw her dad sitting there, but he wasn't alone. There was a young man sitting next to him. Kate came and gave her dad a hug and shook the man's hand. She knew there was something going on after all she is a detective. But she decided to let her dad explain.<p>

"Katie! This is john."

"Nice to meet you John" she gave him a smile and the three of them started to chat trying to hide the weirdness each felt. After a while Kate turned to her dad al of a sudden "what's going on dad?"

Jim trying to break the news as smooth as possible picked his words carefully

"This may sound hard for you to deal with"

"John…. John is your brother".

"What!" The badass Beckett appeared and his daughter Kate was gone at that moment. She was confused. How can she have a brother if she was a lonely child? Her mom and dad were high school sweethearts. That means they were together like for ever. Did her dad cheat on her mother!.

"Would you excuse me" she left without looking at the man sitting next to her dad.

Kate headed to the bathroom, washed her face trying to breathe '_what the hell was that!"_ she tried to get herself together and decided to go back to where the two men were sitting.

"Dad I got a call, there is a murder and they need me, I will see you later ok?"

Jim knowing his daughter very well just gave her a nod and didn't argue.

Kate stood up and went out of there as fast as she could heading home all confused, what she was going to do! Who says he really is her brother? What if he is a hustler? How come she didn't know about him until now? Too many questions popped into her head until she couldn't take it any more. Grabbing her phone and keys she left the apartment and went to see her dad again.

After a long talk with him, Jim told her every thing she needed to know.

"John's mother and I had a one night thing in high school. Before I met your mother, I don't even remember his mom. I must have been so drunk at the time"

"Dad, I really don't need that many details, just the important stuff would be great"

"I didn't even know she was pregnant "Jim continued.

"She disappeared after few months and I never saw her again".

"And where was he all this time? I mean John? Why come to find us now, Why not before?" Kate asked.

"He didn't know about us either!. He said that Caroline, his mother died few weeks ago. She had cancer and he found a key to a deposit box that was given to him by his mother's lawyer!"

Kate was listening very eagerly. Though part of her was still thinking this is all a lie.

"Caroline left him my name and address along with a letter explaining everything in that box"

"I need to see that letter" again the detective in her was taking over.

"Katie! Do you think he is lying?"

"You have to understand that I see a lot of situations exactly like this in my job and they never end well Dad!" she started to walk away from Jim then turned to face him.

"We don't know anything about him" she added putting her hands in her hair.

"He agreed to make a DNA test! Katie!, why would he do all this if he was lying?"

"I need his full name dad!".

"Don't look at me like that! I have to make sure he is telling the truth" she explained when Jim started to stare at her in disbelieve.

Jim gave her John's full name and assured her that he believes the man and she should too. After all they have a new family member now!

"I have to leave you now dad"

"Ok Katie. Take care "he gave her a hug and she left.

Immediately after she was on her way home she called Esposito, "Hey Javi! I need you to do a background check on, John Parker, his mother's name is Caroline"

"Is he a suspect?"

"No he is not and don't let Gates find out about this, not even Ryan or Castle. Ok? "

"You got it boss"

After the background check she asked John to do a DNA test and finally when the results came in and she found out that he really was her brother. She was partly happy that now she has gained a new family member but part of her was afraid that this will make her forget her mother's murder.

And when she finally agreed to go out with John and get to know him. Kate gave him her address. But John couldn't find her place so he called her and asked her to go out side. Kate went down and saw him in front of the building. Giving him hug for the first time since she found out he really was her brother. But for her bad luck Castle saw her hugging another man and without knowing that man was actually her brother Castle got angry and this misunderstanding started after that moment.

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><p>Kate was wondering all over her place, '<em>why am I acting like a teenage girl!' <em>she tried to call Rick again but no luck his phone was still off.

"I just hope you don't do something stupid Castle" talking to herself she went to take a bath and calm herself down.

It was 9pm and no sign of Castle yet. Kate was so tired; she took her favorite book "heat rises" and went to the bedroom. While reading, she fell asleep.

"Beckett" she answered her phone with a sleepy voice.

"Its Ryan, we have a body" he gave her the address.

"I will be there in 15min" she got up and saw that it was 4am. Took a shower and headed to the crime scene.

The day passed till it was around 4pm and still no sign of Castle. Kate was mad at herself feeling responsible for what Castle was going through.

After what seemed a very frustrating case the boys decided to call it a night and start fresh tomorrow. Kate stayed for a little longer looking to the board in front of her. She looked like she was thinking about the case but she wasn't even little bit close to thinking about the case because her mind was screaming "Castle".

Kate put on her jacket the same one she was wearing at the bar that night, and left the precinct.

After standing for almost 10min outside Castle's loft she decided to knock on the door. But it was already open.

Kate lifted her hand to her gun and slowly went inside the loft. "Castle!" she got no answer and there was no sign of Martha or Alexis.

"Castle, you here!" her heart was beating fast now.

She went to Castle's study and his laptop was open but he wasn't there. His bedroom's door was wide open. She decided to go inside but part of her didn't want to.

She walked into Rick's room silently her hand still on her gun.

"OMG Castle … put on some clothes for God's sake!" Kate closed her eyes with her other hand.

"What are you doing here Beckett?" Castle was confused. It was his dream to be naked in his room with Kate but not like this. This was awkward.

"I called after you but got no response, I… I thought something was wrong. Your apartment door was open!"

"It must be mother, she left in a hurry and I didn't check after her if the door was closed. I didn't hear you because I was in the shower"

"You can take that hand away now, Kate"

She moved her hand rom her eyes and a blush covered her face. He was still naked, well he has his towel around his waist now but that chest _' focus Kate, focus'_ her thoughts were taking her to dangerous places.

"I'm….I'm gonna wait… mmm outside till... You get dressed" but she was still there _'move Kate! Move, stop staring at him' _she moved her eyes to his and saw the grin on his face.

"Why detective Beckett, are you feeling uncomfortable?" he is so loving this situation.

"You do realize my hand is still on the gun" she narrowed her eyes at him, anything to make her mind off of that chest.

"Owww…. That sounds sexy with you being in my room" he totally forgot that he was mad at her, again. This woman can take his mind away and make him speechless.

"Don't play with the fire Rick, it might burn you" she bite down her bottom lip.

He loves when she does that. Taking a step towards her "maybe I will burn you with me" he teased standing very close to her now.

She can feel the heat coming out of his bare chest. She tried to take a step back but it wasn't possible since there was a wall behind her. He took an advantage of this and closed the distance between them even more.

Kate's face was facing the floor now. Well her face was but her eyes were wondering his chest.

"Kate. no running this time!"

She looked up and he put his arms against the wall on her sides, leaning toward her.

'_Kiss me!'_ was all she wanted to say. Kate was looking to his mouth. But she remembered she came here to talk. trying to move but he stopped her and pulled her closer to him. Every part of him was touching her now.

Pulling her head to his, He kissed her slowly barely touching her lips which made her crazy. He was torturing her.

Kate couldn't take it anymore she pushed her lips to his but he pulled back and repeated his torture again. She was mad now.

"Rick!" that whisper made him lose his control. Pushing her against the wall again he kissed her long neck.

They danced like that for a while. Kissing, teasing and torturing each other. There moans filled the room, until they ended up on his bed. Rick was on top of her his hands trying to find a bare skin to touch. Moving her shirt up, he was taken by a surprise when he found himself all of a sudden lying under her.

"You're quick, strong, and everything I imagined" he said and tried to get up and kiss her.

Her jacket was on the floor now. The gun was on the table next to some books.

"Castle …." She was trying to breathe "Rick ... we need to talk ".

"Are you serious?" He couldn't believe that she was thinking of someone else, Even now being in his arms. _"That's what he thought "_

"All this passion between us, tell me you don't feel It Kate! You still want to ignore it and be with someone who doesn't deserve you?" after that he went on and on.

"First it was Damming then Josh, and now what was his name again? John? "He was staring right into her eyes.

"You are playing with my feelings here! I can't take It any more Kate. Maybe I don't deserve you but at least I really … care about you".

She stood up, took her gun and left the loft.

'_Damn it, Castle! Why should you hurt her like that'_ he stayed in his bed hands on his face.

After few minutes he got up and saw her jacket lying on the floor. Picked it up and something fell from it, a note.

"_Katie, I hope I didn't cause any problems between you and your boyfriend. Don't worry about me I'm fine, Will call you later. Love: your brother John"._

He runs his hand in his hair..._"Her, brother!"_

"What have I done!" he sat back on his bed with the note in his hands.

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><p><strong><em>I had to explain about John so you won't get confused.<em>**

**_You know what to do to make me write more chapters! Press that REVIEW. xoxo_**


	6. Apology , Love And Hurt

**Here you go the new chapter is up finally! Enjoy it. Thank you for your awesome reviews …**

**Characters mine? Yeah I wish.**

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><p><em>Reminder for chapter 5<em>

She stood up, took her gun and left the loft.

'_Damn it, Castle! Why should you hurt her like that'_ he stayed in his bed hands on his face.

After few minutes he got up and saw her jacket lying on the floor. Picked It up and something fell from it, a note.

"_Katie, I hope I didn't cause any problems between you and your boyfriend. Don't worry about me I'm fine. Will call you later, Love: your brother John"._

He runs his hand in his hair..._"Her, brother!"_

"What have I done!" he sat back on his bed with the note in his hands.

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

Castle was Sad because he acted like a jerk to Beckett and he hurt her without giving her any chance to explain. She was going to tell him about John when she said "we need to talk". But he didn't let her finish that talk. He went all jumping on conclusions and accusing her. But then he started to grin. When the image of Katherine Beckett blushed and covering her eyes once she saw him naked in his bedroom popped to his mind, it was awesome.

He stood up and went after her trying to stop her from going _'Maybe she is waiting for the elevator if I'm lucky'_ he thought and opened the door.

Kate went out of the loft as fast as she could. Her scare was hurting her she felt like she wasn't able to breath anymore, he was right she keeps running from him. She did stay in relationships with men she didn't love, But that was safe. She wouldn't get hurt if they left or if things didn't go well, because she didn't love them. But Castle, he was different she cared about him. He was ready to take a bullet for her. He told her that he loved her and what did she do! She pretended that she didn't hear or remember anything from that day.

She stopped in the way to the elevator and decided '_screw this_ '. She turned back to the loft and was about to knock on the door when Castle surprised her and opened the door before she had the chance to knock. He was still in that towel '_so sexy'_ her mind was going some dangerous places.

"Kate… I...I am sorry... please just let me explain myself. I know I didn't give you any chance to talk, but let me explain why and th…" he didn't finish that sentence because Kate Beckett's lips were covering his.

She put everything in that kiss, all her pain, her hurt and love.

He took the chance and grabbed her to him and never lost contact with her lips. Walking her inside the loft still kissing each other he closed the door behind her with his hand, then lifted her in his arms still kissing her and went to his bedroom.

After few seconds their clothes were on the ground, and they both were lost in their own world.

"That was amazing!" he spoke to her neck and went back to suck on the same spot he was sucking for a few minutes now.

"I will kill you if you left a hickey there Castle!" she was laying under him. Both breathless after the Amazing sex they just had. 4 years they were dancing around each other.

"And it was extraordinary ... not only amazing" she added after moaning when she realized where his hand was now.

"Kate!" his voice was serious.

"Hmmmm" she was so lost in his touch and the way he was using his tongue on her neck. And his hand, oh that hand was making stuff to her under the covers. She didn't spot the seriousness in his voice until he spoke again.

"Look at me, open your eyes" he left her neck and she snapped out of her world when she lost the contact with both his hand and tongue.

"What's wrong?" she can see he is concerned.

"I Love you" he looked into her eyes. She wasn't dying this time she wasn't bleeding in his arms and she can't pretend that she didn't hear him this time too.

She didn't answer him she just closed her eyes. Rick was afraid that he pushed too hard. Maybe she wasn't ready. Or maybe she didn't feel the same way.

He pulled away and tried to get up. But her hand pulled him back down.

"Where you going?" now she was the concerned one.

"I get it Kate, its ok" he kissed her forehead and moved away.

She was in shock. He can't expect her to say it back right away and this was Castle. He always understood her. What is wrong with him now? Why he does not understand her now.

She went to the bathroom after him and found him in the shower, Hands on the wall. his back was to her she enjoyed the view and went behind him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her come in.

She put her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind. He shivered because he didn't expect her to come after him. Castle thought she was half the way to her apartment right now after he cave her a way out.

"What you doing Beckett" it hurt him to talk to her like this but he can't be that guy who she enjoys having sex with and nothing more. Maybe few years ago he would love this but not now. He wanted her in his life for good. He loved her.

Kate pulled back at his serious words and she was so hurt. It's like he was rejecting her. And he didn't even turn around to face her. Just like he wanted her to leave, and leave was what she did.

She stepped out of the bathroom, putting on her clothes very fast. She took her gun and her jacket and stepped out of his bedroom.

"Beckett, wait ... I'm sorry". Castle stepped out of the bathroom all wet and full of regret.

She didn't stop. She put everything in front of him and he knew she can't say these three words back to him right now why he acted like that. Did he just lose interest in her because he finally got what he waited for all these years with her? Why would she stop, so he can play all cool and make her feel pathetic for going after him and be rejected? No, that's not What Kate Beckett does.

She went out of his loft and grabbed some tequila on her way home. This was going to be a long night for her.

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><p>That night she cried and cried all alone at her apartment. After drinking more than she ever did, Kate finally went to bed. Next morning she had a serious headache but decided to go to work anyway '<em>Anything to take my mind of Castle' <em>she thought.

After a week Kate decided maybe this is it with her and Castle. Maybe they were not meant to be.

_'I was fine without you before and i will still be now' _she kept telling her self that and decided that since he didn't call or show up at the precinct then he is sending her a message and she gets it.

Two month had past, and no sign of Castle. Although Gate's looked happy but you can see that she kind of missed those crazy theories of Castle as well. The boys were in touch with him, but they knew something was up between Beckett and Castle so they didn't bother to tell her in case she got mad and make them pay for it by doing more paper work. Although Kate knew they were still in touch with Castle but she didn't give them any sign for her knowledge. Lanie on the other side tried to get Kate to tell her what was wrong a couple times. But Kate didn't give her any chance to get things out of her.

It was Sunday. They rapped up the case they were working on for a week and the boys left the precinct to get some drinks but Kate stayed. She was very nervous. It has been 2 days since she was trying to make her mind to call Castle or go and see him. Maybe she should have waited for him to call her. Maybe he was hurt when she didn't tell him she loves him back and that's why he pulled away. This scenario was playing in her mind for more than 30 days now and she tried to put all the facts together to figure why he acted like a jerk after that amazing sex they had. And if he only wanted the sex why did he tell her that he loved her after they had sex.

'_That doesn't make sense' she told herself_. Maybe they went again to that thing they do very well '_making conclusions'_ she stood up and decided to go and see him and she felt dizzy. This was happening for few days now every time she stands up she feels dizzy.

She went to Castle's loft and knocked on the door and was surprised to see Martha opening the door.

"Hello Kate! Long time since you visited us. How are you doing" she paused to figure the look on Kate's face.

"Oh please come in" she continued and stepped away to let Kate in.

"Thank you Martha I'm fine. How are you and how is the acting school?" she went inside, her eyes were on Castle's study.

"He is writing the new book" Martha said with a smile when she saw Kate looking for Castle.

"The school is keeping me busy." She paused and then "Go on, I will be upstairs if you need me" Martha gave her a nod and went upstairs leaving Kate alone in the loft.

Apparently Castle had his headphones on his ears. Because he seems to not hear that Kate Beckett is in the house!

"Hey Castle" Kate went to his study. But she got no response. Castle's back was to the door and he was typing. She went very slowly and took her time to look at him, she missed him so much.

"Castle!" she removed one of his headphones and yelled in his ear making him jump in his place.

"Kate...ammm... Beckett" he stood up.

"You look like you don't want to see me" she was trying to start a conversation and this was what came to her mind at the moment.

"What ...No Of course not... I mean I wanted to call you but I... didn't... you look great!" he was so surprised and he didn't know what he was saying.

"Can we talk for a minute" she said and walked away to sit on the couch.

"Sure... what's up" he tried to play cool.

He didn't tell her that he found that note in her packet and that he knows John is her brother. He tried to tell her the other night 2 months ago but he couldn't because she didn't give him a chance to talk she was all over him and he lost his brain in the process.

Castle didn't call her all this time because he knew Beckett, and he knew she needs time to think about all that happened. The sleeping together the '_I love you'. _It was too much for her and he gave her time to think about that.

But Kate didn't think of it this way. She thought he just wanted her in his bed and that was it and he doesn't want her anymore.

"Castle.. I don't know how to tell you this" she was looking to the floor.

Castle was sure now about what the boys told him a week ago. About Kate meeting a guy and getting calls from someone and she was so secretive about it, she didn't take the calls when they were around.

Castle kept asking about her every few days after she left his loft, Of course without her knowing that, and the boys kept him updated.

Now he was afraid that this day will come and she will tell him the very thing that he didn't want to hear from her, hearing the boys saying it was painful but hearing it from her was too much. So he did what he could do the best at the moment. Went back to that self centered jerk he used to be 4 years ago.

"Can you wait a minute?" he smiled and looked to his phone." I have to take this call" he went to his bedroom.

"Hey babe, are you coming tonight?"

Kate stood up and tears started to ran on her cheeks. '_He is seeing someone else. This soon!'_ and here she was about to tell him something important she run out of his study and closed the loft door behind her.

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><p><strong>Review you awesome Readers and tell me what u notice and think will happen in next chapter... Tell me what u like and what u hate. XoXo<strong>


	7. Crash

**I know …! Two chapters in one day! ONLY FOR YOU LOVELY READERS… ENJOY. i see you are trying to understand why they didn't talk for 2 months "well they done it before" and why Castle acted like that you will find out in this chapter! And this is going to be interesting.. I am sorry about the mistakes its just i couldn't find any1 to be my beta reader and i really had to update." I fixed some mistakes in Ch6 and added some new lines just to make the story clear. If you are following my story go back and re-read ch6" thank you all.**

**STILL I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS**

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><p><em>Reminder of chapter 6<em>

"Can you wait a minute?" he smiled and looked to his phone." I have to take this call" he went to his bedroom.

"Hey babe, are you coming tonight?"

Kate stood up and tears started to ran on her cheeks. '_He is seeing someone else. This soon!'_ and here she was about to tell him something important she run out of his study and closed the loft door behind her.

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

Kate got out of the building and went to her car, and drove with tears running along her face. She remembered how he acted that day in the shower and maybe this was him. Maybe he will never change after all he was divorced twice and all of a sudden.

"CRASH….."

She was so out zone with her thoughts that she missed the traffic red light, and a very fast car crashed with her car driving her to the other end of the street and into one of the power columns. She wasn't very far from Castle's loft.

"She's opening her eyes…she is a live!" a guy was standing next to her car and people were gathering she was confused...

"Ma'am, can you hear me?" the guy was pushing people away and trying to get her out of the car.

Kate all covered with blood and what seemed like she was stuck in her car just nodded.

"The ambulance will be here any minute now," the guy was trying to loosen that seat belt but no luck.

"Give me my phone please, its over there " she tried to show him where the phone was near her feet.

"Do you want me to call some one for you?" the guy asked while picking up the phone.

"Castle …. No...N…O… call Ryan te...ll him where I...am" she forgot for a second why she left so mad from Castle's loft. But once it all came back to her she told the guy to call Ryan instead.

Castle was sitting in his study sad and frustrated of himself. He didn't want to do what he just did '_pretending that he got a call, and go into his room and make it sound he had a hot date tonight'_ there was no call and he didn't have any hot date.

He just did that to make it easier on Kate to say what she came to tell him. That she is seeing someone, well that's what he thought she was going to tell him, but he was surprised when he returned to his study and didn't find her there. He was confused. '_Why did she leave? If she didn't like this … oh my god is it possible that I jumped to conclusions again and ruined this'._

Castle decided to not wait longer and make things right before something else confuses them. Because that's what they always do. He took his jacket, grabbed his phone and went out of the loft. He dialed her and he was surprised to hear a man answering her phone!

"Hello" the man on the other side of the line greeted him.

"Excuse me, but who are you?" Rick was getting high on mad level. But not wanting to jump into conclusions like the last time. So he decided to wait and listen this time.

"This is Katherine Beckett's phone. You are a relative?"

Castle could hear some strange voices in the background. '_Where is she, it sounds like a hospital'_ he didn't finish his thought when the guy on the other side of the phone talked again.

"Miss Kate had a car accident and I brought her to the hospital"

"What? WH...Which hospital? How is she?"

"I think you better talk to this guy" said the man and started talking to some one.

Castle was running toward his car now like crazy.

"You must be Ryan?" the guy asked someone and Castle was still on the phone hearing everything.

"Yes, where is Beckett?" Ryan asked very concerned.

"She is in surgery now; there is someone on the phone. Here, this is her phone answer the guy I don't know who he is.'

"Ryan… it's me Castle... Where is Kate? What happened … give me the name of the hospital"

Ryan gave him the address and Castle hung up.

He was driving like crazy. This was his fault he was cursing himself for doing that silly act. She must have gotten really mad. '_This is not Beckett, she is always careful_.'

"Ryan!" Castle got there fast because the hospital wasn't that far from his loft.

"She is ok Castle" Ryan assured him and that made Castle slow his run and walk instead.

"Where is she?" he was having a flash back from the shooting. She almost died in his arms the last time he ran in hospital corridors.

"She has a broken rib and they pulled a broken glass out of her arm. But she is fine"

"Fine, she had a glass in her arm and u telling me she is fine!"

He went straight past Ryan to go and check on Kate.

"Castle, She said she doesn't want to see you now" Ryan stopped him before he entered her room.

Castle knew why. She had an accident because of him! Of course she doesn't want to see him. He stood there and turned to Ryan

"Make sure she is ok and call me if anything happens" Ryan nodded and with that Castle walked away heading to outside. _'She will hide again like the last time; she will not come back this time because I don't deserve it. I hurt her and she didn't do anything to deserve that'_. And he felt that he lost her for good this time.

Castle kept walking on the cold streets not knowing what to do or how to fix this. He started to think about the night they slept together how amazing it was. She was everything he expected and much more. He couldn't keep his hands off of her and then he remembered the one thing that brought them to this point his "I love you" and he hated himself for being the reason that she is in the hospital now, If only he turned around when she came after him to the shower. If only he didn't let her go things might have taken another way, but no, he had to be stupid and say what he was thinking out loud. He was so hurt at that time that he didn't care they were naked in the shower. He felt like he was a fool to wait for her all this time and she didn't feel the same way about him. He thought she had sex with him because she felt guilty for keeping him around and guilty for not having the same feelings toward him. He didn't think right, not until it was too late and when he called after her to apologize she was gone. He didn't dare to call her after that. He kept asking about her and checking on her from the guys and from what they said she was mad and he knew that she needed time till she is calm and that is when he will step in again and fix this. He knew that he shouldn't push her more. And after all he had to start writing his next book and it was time so he took the opportunity to write and he was going to call her after he was done but she surprised him when she came to his loft.

with all this running in his mind he went to the old haunt and sat in his office down stairs with a bottle of old whisky.

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><p><strong>REVIEW! I love this word!<strong>


	8. Heart Breaking surprise

First I am sorry for not updating soon I was busy with exams... and I want to alert you that I added few lines to chapter 6 only because some reviews said that it wasn't clear and why was the two month jump so I tried to make it clear but yet not to ruin the moment of surprise, Just be patient.

Thank you for the reviews you guys are awesome.

No, characters are not mine.

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><p>Reminder for Chapter 7<p>

_Castle pretended to have a date coming over because he didn't want to hear Beckett telling him she is seeing some one else, that's what he thought she was going to say to him._

_Beckett who came to tell him something totally different was shocked by what she heard and took off and being so confused she had an accident and was in the hospital now._

_Castle went to the hospital to see her but she ordered to not let him into her room and he went out and walked alone in the cold streets thinking about everything and headed to the old haunt later._

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

After Kate came out of the surgery she saw Ryan who told her that Lanie and Esposito were on their way to the hospital.

"Don't tell Castle" Kate told Ryan when the nurse left the room.

"But he is on his way here!" Ryan told her all about the call and how Castle was worried.

"Fine, but don't let him in here."

"I don't wanna see him now" she added and Ryan nodded and left her to rest.

Few minutes later she heard Ryan telling Castle that she doesn't want to see him now. It broke her heart but the last thing she wanted now was a pity visit from Richard Castle the play boy. Kate closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Meanwhile Castle arrived to the old haunt looking like hell. Went to his office and the only think he knew will help him now was that bottle of whisky. After that's what he was doing for past few months , whenever he was thinking about Kate he either calls the boys and ask about her , or get his new friend _'Alcohol'_ and write about her .

He Kept thinking about what she was going to tell him. Because if she was this mad that she didn't pay attention to a traffic light then what he thought she was about to tell him was not making sense.

If she was about to tell him she is seeing someone then why she left so angry. She shouldn't care if he is seeing someone as well.

"What did you want to tell me Kate?" he took another sip of the whisky straight from the bottle.

After 1 hour Castle was drunk, not too drunk but drunk enough to not drive. He went up stairs and told the boys to close the bar themselves tonight and went out.

He hired a cap and this time he made sure to give the driver the correct address. After 10 minutes he arrived at his loft and went straight to his study to avoid to meeting his mom and daughter.

There was no way he could take Kate out of his mind not even the Alcohol worked this time. He blamed himself for the accident.

'_I should have listened to her even if what she was going to say could have hurt me, I should have listened to her.'_ Walking back and forth in his study, hands in his hair.

'_Damn you Castle, she is in the hospital because of you'_ he throw the glass of wine he was drinking on the door and it crashed on the floor and his mother and daughter run into his study.

"Dad what's going on?" Martha didn't say anything just waited for his answer.

Castle had a Deja vu for the summer when Kate told him they were done and to get out of her place after trying to make her back off of her mother's case to not get killed. He was so angry that night he throw his glass to the cover of his next book and broke it and just then Martha stepped in very worried and he assured her_ 'everything is fine'_. What will he say now to his daughter, that he was the reason to put Beckett in the hospital this time? That he screwed big time and she doesn't want to see him anymore.

"I'm sorry sweetie , just a little bit mad at myself" he went to clean the mess he just made and Alexis helped him without asking any farther questions, because Lanie told her about Kate's accident and she kind of figured why her dad was so mad at himself. She knew before the accident that Beckett was in their house and her dad must had said or done something.

"I will clean this up dad, it's ok" she took the glass pieces from his hand and went to the kitchen to get something to clean that mess.

"Castle Alexis just told me about Kate, are you Okay son!" Martha knew as well it has to be something he said or did that caused this and it has to be something very serious to make Kate Beckett so dozed off to have a car accident.

"It's entirely my fault, I'm so stupid" he went to sit on his chair.

"She doesn't want to see me anymore"

"you don't know that, maybe she is just confused right now and she needs to rest, that's why she wants to be alone" Martha went to stand beside him and put her hand on his arm, she never seen her son so miserable for anyone, he went through two unsuccessful marriages and she never saw him this sad and broken.

"She let Ryan in, and I know that Lanie and Espo are there too now, she doesn't want to see me because I am a fool and I keep hurting her"

Alexis came back and cleaned the floor; she gave her dad a kiss and went upstairs with no comment on what just happened minutes earlier.

Castle appreciated what Alexis did and knew that his daughter was growing up and she was getting wiser every year. He knew she didn't want to push him and cause him more pain by asking questions, secretly he washed his mother would have the same sense and stop interrogating him but that will never happen.

"Mother I am fine, go sleep I want to be alone" he gave her a kiss on her cheek and she left.

Kate woke up in the hospital to find her friends around her and someone was holding her hand, it was her father and she saw John standing behind him. Everyone she loved was there except for Castle.

'_He didn't even bother to come'_ she thought while trying to smile to the people in front of her. And then it hit her she asked Ryan to not let him in and that's why he wasn't there.

"How are you feeling Katie?" Jim asked trying not to show how much scared he was to lose her for the second time.

"I'm fine dad; don't worry" with a smile she greeted them all.

No one wanted to make her uncomfortable so no one asked about what happened. Jim and john got up

"We have to leave now Katie. Its already past visiting hours , Dr. Parish here suggested to stay with you tonight and I will be here first thing in the morning" Jim told her and gave her a kiss and so did John and they left.

Ryan and Esposito told her to get well soon and they need her at the precinct and made some jokes to make her laugh and they left as well after Espo gave Laine a kiss which surprised both Ryan and Beckett that they were back together and no one knew about that. That earned Lanie a dead look from Beckett.

"What was that all about Lanie!" Lanie narrowed her eyes on Kate and sat next to her on the bed.

"Don't give me that dead look girl. You've been hiding secrets from me too about you and writer boy, besides I hardly saw you the last couple months. You only spoke to me when it was case related, what was I supposed to do? Cuff you to some table and make you talk to me something other than work and dead people?"

"Okay I get your point" with a long sigh Kate closed her eyes and it all came back to her mind all the fights with Castle and what happened before the accident.

"I'm not gonna ask you what happened now, but tomorrow we will talk and I don't care if I have to cuff you or give you some kind of medicine to tell me the truth, but I will get all the information I want . You understand me girl?" Kate smiled and shook her head; Lanie does have her ways to get what she wants.

"It seems I don't really have any other choice" Kate stated.

Just then the doctor came in to check on Kate and Lanie stood up to make space for the doctor. But he had that sad face when doctors usually put before telling someone that their father or mother or friend died. Kate didn't notice that but Lanie did.

"Ms. Kate, I'm afraid I have some bad news" the doctor looked serious and Kate's eyes fill with tears.

"It's Miss Kate" Lanie corrected looking awkwardly to the doc for assuming that Kate was married and then she turned to look at her friend "sweetie you okay?" Lanie was confused, why was Beckett about to cry when the doctor didn't even say what the bad news was. And knowing Kate all these years she doesn't let her emotions out unless it's something so serious.

"we couldn't do anything to save your baby, the broken rib you had was really close to the fetus, I am so sorry" Kate hold her hand to her mouth and tears were running on her cheeks , her other hand fisted on the covers.

Lanie was silent and shocked and didn't know what to do, comfort her friend for this horrible news or get angry at her for keeping this secret because it is obvious that Kate knew about this for sometime now.

"How old was the baby?" Kate asked trying to control her voice.

"2 months" said the doctor "this happens, you're still young and you can have children in the future don't be so hard on yourself" he added and excused himself to give the two women sometime to get through this.

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><p>What do you think of this chapter? Review please and let me know.<p> 


	9. Secrets

Hell of a final don't you think! I can't stop watching it over and over again. That last scene was WOW I must've watched it nearly 100times until now.

But I am happy that they gave us this strong final to keep us busy until September.

I got no reviews from you guys for the last chapter "did you lost interest in the story?"

Disclaimer: characters belong to the brilliant Andrew Marlowe

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><p><em>Reminder of chapter 8<em>

_"we couldn't do anything to save your baby, the broken rib you had was really close to the fetus, I am so sorry" Kate hold her hand to her mouth and tears were running on her cheeks , her other hand fisted on the covers._

_Lanie was silent and shocked and didn't know what to do, comfort her friend for this horrible news or get angry at her for keeping this secret because it is obvious that Kate knew about this for sometime now._

_"How old was the baby?" Kate asked trying to control her voice._

_"2 months" said the doctor "this happens, you're still young and you can have children in the future don't be so hard on yourself" he added and excused himself to give the two women sometime to get through this._

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

After the doc left Kate still had her hand on her mouth trying to swallow her cries. Lanie still in shock just looking at Kate and she decided there is plenty of time to be angry at her friend later but right now she should be there for her, so she did what she should have done once the doc said that bad news, she hugged her friend and assured her that everything will be ok.

"Shush ... Its ok sweetie. Its ok, everything will be ok"

After half an hour Beckett was still crying in silence and Lanie couldn't take it anymore to see her strong friend so vulnerable and in pain, she called for the nurse and told her to give Kate something to help her sleep and get some rest and that's what happened and after Kate going to sleep Lanie started to think what she is suppose to do now. '_Does Castle know about this? Should I tell him?'_

This was all too much and she looked back at Kate who was asleep now and thought _'this woman is cursed, she didn't see any happiness in her life that lasts for long'_ sighing loudly Lanie closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep herself.

"No ... no it's my baby its mine and Castle's don't take him away... Castle stop him please …please stop him" Lanie woke up to find Kate dreaming and crying, Tears running on her cheeks and her hands in fists pulling the covers beside her.

"Kate sweetie wake up it's just a dream" Lanie tried to wake her up when Kate started to talk again.

"Was it not enough that u took my mother and u shot me ... please… please leave this baby alive please" she was crying with every word and Lanie knew she was dreaming about her sniper.

"Kate wake up, Wake up Kate its just a dream" and with that Kate opened her eyes wide and her hand went to her bullet scar breathing hardly she looked at Lanie and she saw a terrified look on her face.

"Just breathe sweetie. Here, drink some water" Lanie assured her and handed Kate a glass of water.

After few minutes Kate's breathing steadied and she tried to sit up and Lanie helped her. It was 3am and none of the two women could go back to sleep after that.

"I headed there to tell him that I was pregnant" all of a sudden Kate started to talk and Lanie just stared at her friend.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but I just found out two weeks ago and even then I wasn't so sure. I went to a doctor when I was late and started to throw up everything I put in my mouth." Beckett never looked at Lanie her eyes were shut her head on the pillow facing the ceiling.

"What happen Kate? What happened between you two that ended you being here right now" Lanie asked.

"I don't know Lanie, I honestly don't know how we got here!" with a long sigh she added.

"We had an amazing night together and he said he loves me. I didn't know what to do I just froze and he got upset and left the bed. Although he didn't show me how much upset he was but I felt him and I went after him in the shower and he didn't even look at me so I left" remembering all what happened 2 months ago was painful but she had to tell someone, she had to see if there is something she missed along the way.

"I left and didn't see him since then, I know you guys met him at the old haunt couple times and I know the boys were still in touch with him, but I didn't know what or who was wrong , me or him I…" Lanie cut her off before she had the chance to continue.

"That man loves you so much that he stayed for 4 years waiting for you to see him and he didn't ask for anything in return Kate. And you love him too, don't look at me like that you and me both know you are crazy about him as much as he is about you."

"But .." Kate tried to talk but Lanie stopped her again.

"But what Kate, he was there when you got shot, he was there when you got blow up in your own apartment, hell he was with you in all the weird dead cases you two walk into, he was always there for you."

"Maybe he decided to give you sometime to think. like you did the last time. Maybe that's why he didn't call you, but he kept asking us about you every few days"

Lanie gave her friend a sad smile because she didn't know how to take that pain from her friend, losing a baby is not easy and lose your love at the same time made it all worse.

"So what happened when you went to see him yesterday?" Lanie kept going and not giving Beckett a chance to run.

"I was about to tell him when he excused to answer his phone, he went to his room and the call was from a woman. He told her _'hey babe, you coming tonight?_"

"What was I supposed to do? Stick around act cool when I was just about to tell him that I'm pregnant?"

Lanie got all serious look on her face.

"So I decided to leave before he comes back and find me all cheesy and crying. I drove like crazy and must have been so distracted I didn't pay attention to the traffic light, and that's the last thing I remember"

"So you didn't tell him you love him, you didn't tell him you remember his I LOVE YOU when you got shot?"

"no I didn't ..I needed to be sure"

"Kate how long until you will be sure or ready? Maybe he was tired of waiting. Did you ever thing of that? So what now you will tell him right? About the baby"

"NO ... no its done there is no baby now and there is no need to tell him, and don't you dare to tell him Lanie or our friendship will be over" Kate was serious.

"As you like Beckett but someday you will have to face this and it will be much harder then" she sighed then added.

"What about your dad and John? Will you tell them?"

"No one but you should know about this Lanie. I already told the doc to keep it secret when I found out that I'm pregnant, I told him to keep it between us until I figure what I want to do. I suppose you saw me on the phone the last week being very secretive, this is why"

"Ohhh, but we thought you had a new …"

"New what, Lanie?"

"nothing just we thought you had a boyfriend and you didn't want to tell us about him, but I cant promise you to keep this secret Kate"

"No don't you do this to me Lanie, this has to stay between us, please" Kate tried to stand up but she fail and the pain was so clear on her face.

"Okay… okay don't move, I will try just stay in bed. I don't know where you will go with this but this is not the right thing Kate, anyway get back to sleep now you need to rest we can talk about this tomorrow" Lanie went near her friend and helped her lay down and sighed before she went back to where she was sitting on the couch.

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><p>While all this happened between Lanie and Kate, Castle was still awake in his bed thinking about Kate and thinking all over about what happened and what was she going to tell him.<p>

He thought about what the boys told him, that Beckett had a boyfriend who she was talking to the past week very secretively. But it all didn't make any sense when she left after hearing him yesterday, '_what if she wasn't here to tell me that? What was she about to tell me? She looked very serious' _with that he shut his eyes close but after 15 min he was still awake he couldn't sleep. It was 12am so he decided to call Ryan and ask him how Kate was doing.

"Ryan".

"Hey Ryan I'm sorry to call you this late but I wanted to ask about Beckett. Is she still in the hospital?"

"No problem man. Beckett was feeling better when we left, Lanie stayed with her at the hospital" Ryan could hear the concern in Castle's voice.

"It's not your fault Castle, things happen for a reason. She just needs sometime to gather her thoughts, I don't know what happened between you two but you will get through this, you always do" trying to reassure him as much as possible because they all knew how much Castle loves Beckett.

"Yeah, Thank you Ryan, just keep me updated. Good night" he hung up the phone and shut his eyes trying to sleep.

"LANIE …LANIE HELP ME ... I ...I can't breathe "

"OMG Kate... what happened ... OMG don't move let me go get help" Lanie woke up the second time that night on Beckett's screams but this time it wasn't because she was seeing a dream. Kate was screaming of pain and hardly breathing with her hands covered in her own blood, Lanie couldn't tell where she was bleeding from. She ran out of the room to find the doctor.

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><p>Review... I feel you don't like the story any more because I am getting no reviews. If you want me to go on let me know. Thank you all for reading.<p> 


	10. Bloody Day

It's been long time since I wrote here but I have my reasons. Work is taking most of my time, will try to update soon.

I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas as always ...

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

"LANIE …LANIE HELP ME ... I ...I can't breathe "

Lanie jumped from her place, half awake and half still asleep trying to figure out what was going on.

Kate was all awake, eyes full of tears, her hands covered in blood.

"OMG Kate... what happened ... OMG don't move let me go get help" Lanie woke up the second time that night on Beckett's screams but this time it wasn't because she was seeing a dream. Kate was screaming of pain and hardly breathing with her hands covered in her own blood, Lanie couldn't tell where she was bleeding from. She ran out of the room to find the doctor. Lanie all freaked out herself run to the nurse and asked her for help, then headed back to Kate who was still in shock.

"She is bleeding from the surgery".

Lanie with the nurse's help were trying to hold Kate still and calming her down while the doctor was trying to stop the bleeding.

After few minutes Kate was calm and the bleeding was controlled.

"Stay beside her and call me if anything happens"

"I will, Is it bad? I thought the surgery went well. What caused the bleeding?"

"It did, but she is so stressed and that caused pressure on her surgery wound. She needs rest, if this happens again it may cause her a permanent problem which may effect her ability to have kids in the future".

"pananannan..nana nana. Pananannan nana" Lanie's phone rang and she went back to the room to answer it, Kate knew this was Castle's ringtone.

"Don't tell him about what happened, Lanie"

"But ...this is not normal, maybe if you talk to him and tell him about the baby you will..."

"Lanie, I said no"

Knowing how stubborn Kate is, Lanie didn't argue more, stood up and headed out

"Call after me if you need me, I will be outside"

"Yes castle" she answered her phone and walked out of the room.

"How is Beckett doing?"

"I wish I could say she is getting better but…"

"But, what? What is wrong? Lanie tell me"

"What are you still doing up? It's late"

"Don't change the subject, what are you not telling me?"

All Lanie wanted to say was the truth , but she promised Kate not to say a word about the baby, the dream or what just happened, and she knew if she did tell castle all that, Kate will never talk to her again and will disappear into her shell as always, all alone.

She kept her mouth shut and tried her best to lie on castle

"Lanie … you still there ?"

"Yes... Look, don't worry Castle I will take good care of her"

"I know you will, didn't she ask about me?"

"She is asleep most of the time, and when she is awake she is not much of a talker you know that"

"She is so mad at me and isn't giving me any chance to explain myself and tell her the truth"

"Give it some time Castle, she will come around"

"I just want to see her; can you do me a favor?"

"What you want?"

"I am sure she is awake now and she probably asked you to tell me that she is asleep because she doesn't want to talk to me, but when she is really asleep I want to come and see her, please Lanie. I have to see how she is "

"She is still in pain from the accident; don't make this harder than it already is Castle"

"I just want to make sure she is alright, I want to see what u r telling me is true"

"Fine, but if she wakes up I have no idea how you got there. Am I clear?"

"Crystal clear, Thank you I'll be waiting for your call"

"Alright, one day I'm gonna get a heart attack and the reason will be you two"

"You're the best. Take care"

"Night castle"

After Lanie hang up the phone she went back to the room and found Kate sitting on the bed.

"What did you talk about? Why did it take you so long?"

"Don't go all detective on me, relax I didn't tell him anything. And for what we talked about is none of your business"

Getting a dead stare from Beckett after that last statement, Lanie took the chance

"See how not cool it is, not knowing something! Well you are doing the same to him and since I'm not allowed to say anything I'm not gonna take anyone's side this time."

"Lanie you know it's because of him I lost this baby"

"Honey, I am not saying it's not his fault, because it is. But it's also your fault too. You both are so stubborn to see what kind of life you can have together, but no, it's a war zone when it comes to you two"

"I'm tired and I need some sleep" trying to lay down on the bed but it was obvious on her face that she was in pain

"Ok get some sleep, you gonna need it when you wake up tomorrow "said Lanie in a whisper to herself

"Why would I?" Kate all suspicious turned to Lanie.

"No reason, just you know, friends from the precinct may visit tomorrow "

But that wasn't what Lanie meant when she said Kate will need a good sleep, she just wanted to make Kate go back to sleep so Castle can come and see her.

"Yeah, you're right, and thanks for staying with me "

"Yeah …yeah just go to sleep already"

Kate closed her eyes while Lanie sat on the couch next to her, inpatient to call Castle and give him the green light to come.

As much as she was mad at him, and she was going to give him a piece of her mind later for the situation he put Kate in, but for now she just wants to help them make things right, though she didn't show Kate how mad she was at Castle just not to make things go south between them more than it already was.

After half an hour and after making sure that Kate was asleep Lanie took her phone and went outside the room

"Hey Castle get your ass here"

"Right away, see yea in a bit".

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><p>Short chapter I know , but Im trying to figure where will i go with this.<p> 


	11. Lies

**Chapter 11: Lies**

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><p>Castle too eager to see Kate didn't know how fast to get out of his loft and turn on the car engine. He was sitting in his office thinking of a way to make things right again, to take back his foolish mistakes and be able to hold Kate in his arms once more.<p>

"Pananananan …nana na na.."

"What?"

"I'm outside, is it safe to come in?"

"Yea, she is deep in sleep. I will come out now" Lanie hang up the phone and went out to meet Castle who was standing outside the door.

"How did you get in anyway? Its past visiting hours"

"Its me Lanie, I have people every where, So can I go inside and see her?"

"OK, but you better be quite or I swear castle I will shoot you before Kate does"

"Thank you Lanie, I will be quite as a mouse" Castle opened the door so quietly and went inside. He didn't recognize her first. Kate was pale and vulnerable, even more than the time when she was shot.

For a few mints he just stood there next to the bed watching her asleep, watching her breathe.

"What happened to us? Why cant we have a normal life like others and be on the same page for once?" he whispered while getting closer to her side and brushing the tips of his fingers on her jaw line.

And just then the door opened and the doctor came in to check on Kate. Apparently, Lanie wasn't guarding the door. She was getting a cup of coffee and Castle was caught.

"Who are you Mr.?"

"IIIII …. Im her fiancé " he knew he was going to regret this the moment he said the word, but that's all he came up with in a moment of panic and surprise.

"Can we talk outside, I don't want to wake her up" said Castle and guided the doctor to the door. Partly because he really was scared to be seen by Kate and partly because he knew that Kate needed rest from the way she was looking. The doctor nodded and went out of the room followed by Castle.

"Oh … I'm sorry Mr. ?" The doctor asked once they were outside.

"Castle… Richard Castle" he shock the doctors hand.

"Excuse me , but I didn't see you around since they brought her here, I just assumed she was all alone in this"

"I just wasn't around, alone in what?"

"Oh I see you met the doctor " Lanie came at the right moment to save Kate's secret and her own ass.

"Yes we met, I didn't know that Kate was engaged ?"

"Ohh .. yeah" Lanie gave Castle a dead stare "It must have slipped out of my mind, you know we were busy with Kate and all".

"Hey doc. Can we give Mr. Castle and his fiancé some alone time together?"

"Yea sure, she seems stable now. Just don't stress her out"

"Thank you, I wont stress her out" said Castle and left Lanie standing with the doctor and went into Kate's room quietly .

"Doctor, can I have a word with you please?" asked Lanie walking away from the room with the doctor.

"Yes of course"

"Well, you see Mr. Castle doesn't know anything about the pregnancy and I was hoping if you don't mention it to him, you know until Kate does herself"

"Sure, are they separated or something?"

"No, Its just been tough on them both and arguments happen between couples all the time. I will really appreciate it if you keep this detail between me you and Kate"

"Of course, don't worry about it" said the doctor and walked away.

"Phew… that was close" said Lanie to herself and walked to Kate's room and sat outside waiting for Castle to come out soon or they both will be in trouble. For tonight, they said too many lies.

After 30 mints, still no sign of Castle so Lanie decided to go inside and make him leave before Kate wakes up.

"Hey, Castle " She whispered to him and nodded with her head toward the door and Castle followed her.

"Its time for you to leave,"

"Just a little longer Lanie, let me stay till she wakes up and talk to her"

"Are you crazy ? She will be mad and she will get worse"

"Its not the time to talk to her Castle, you have to wait" trying to put some sense into him, finally Lanie convinced Castle to go home and have some rest.

Lanie went inside, sat on the couch and started reading the book she had until sleep took the best of her.

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine" Lanie walk up to the voices of the doctor and Kate .

"Oh what time is it?" she stood up.

"What happened ? You OK?"

"Yeah I'm fine Lanie"

"She was up all night even when .." the doctor couldn't continue his sentence when Lanie cut him off.

"Even when you went to sleep, I just wanted to make sure that there was no other bleeding wound" Lanie said with a smile. The doctor took the hint and ignored the mention of Castle being there. He told Kate to not try to move unless if its for the bathroom and then he went out.

"Are you hungry sweetie?" asked Lanie

"I want some coffee Lanie"

"Are you crazy, what coffee now? Let me go ask the nurse and see what is OK to feed you girl"

After 10 mints Lanie came back with some healthy food and sat next to Kate.

"I saw a strange dream last night, I saw Castle , he was telling me that he was sorry but I couldn't talk to him. I tried to yell but nothing came out."

"Did you now!"

"Don't start Lanie, don't make me regret telling you"

"I'm just saying that maybe your subconscious knows the best for you more than you do"

"You are not on call today?" Kate was trying to change the subject and Lanie played along.

"No, I took few days off"

"Lanie, you don't have to do that. I will be just fine"

"I know you will, because you can handle all the worlds problems. But still I want to be here"

After Kate ate a little Lanie took the rest and went away and when she was back she saw Kate distracted in her own thoughts with her hand on her belly.


	12. More Lies & Some Truth

**Hello fellow readers.. I hope that you are still following the story. I had been super busy and Now I have another new chapter for you. Stay tuned for updates soon. Enjoy reading.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: More Lies and Some Truth<strong>

"Hey!"

"Hah?" Being startled by Lanie's greeting, Kate jumped out of her own thoughts. Which Lanie ignored, she was doing this "ignoring" stuff a lot, because if she insisted on making Kate talk they will end up fighting and right now the last thing Kate needed was another loss of a close friend. So yes, ignoring was the best solution.

"So, I just talked to your dad and he said he is on his way over here"

"I hate this; I always keep him worried on me and make him go through his worst fears of losing me too"

"Honey, he knows you are strong and you can take care of yourself, it's just a father's job to be worried. Besides, things like this happen"

Sighing, Kate just noticed she was still rubbing her belly. She took her hand away fast so Lanie wouldn't notice.

"Lanie, you need to go home and get some rest, change and shower. I will be fine, I promise"

"Are you sure? I really do need a shower and your dad is gonna be here soon"

"Yes, I will be fine"

"Ok. I will be back soon; do you need anything from your place, clothes?"

"Yes get me some shirts and pair of jeans and bring me the book I had on my bedside table. Now that I have nothing to do maybe I can finish that one"

"Ok sweetie" kissing Kate's forehead, Lanie gathered her stuff and gave Kate a wave before she left.

For five mints Kate was staring outside the window her hand on her belly again thinking.

A knock on the door brought her back; It was the doctor checking on her.

"Oh just the guy I wanted to see" Said Kate with a smile.

"A smile, now that's a progress" Said Doctor Sloan while looking at the chart at the end of Kate's bed.

"Did your friend, Dr. Parish leave?"

"Yes, I told her to go, and now that we are alone I want to tell you that I decided to keep the baby"

"But I told you how dangerous it is for you, the accident ..." Kate cut him off

"I know what you said, that's why I asked you to not tell anyone that I didn't lose the baby, I had to think this through before I cause more pain to them. Now I decided I want this baby and I want to know when I will be cleared out, I have to take care of some stuff "

The doctor had to say something, she needed someone by her side if she was going to go through this and keep the baby anyway.

"The father was here last night" Taking his eyes of the chart to look at Kate.

"You didn't say anything about any engagement to me"

"Castle! What, no we are not engaged. He probably just said that so u can let him in"

"He sounded very sad and very much caring about you, maybe you should tell him about this" Moving forward in her bed.

"You didn't tell him anything about this, did you?"

"No I promised you."

"Not even about the story of losing the baby?"

"No I didn't and your friend Dr. Parish made sure I don't tell him anything. Relax, sit back. Don't stress yourself. No one told him anything about a baby. You did threaten me with your speech of doctor patient confidentiality, remember?"

The doctor tried to enlighten the mood.

Taking along breathe; Kate put her head back on the pillow.

"It's just complicated. And I need to do this alone. Thank you for going along with this and telling Lanie that I lost the baby. I didn't know what to do and that was the best at that moment. I hate lying to them but it is what it is"

"You need help in this, you can't do this all alone Ms. Beckett"

"Don't worry about that, I survived a bomb, a gunshot and lots more, I can do this, just let me know when can I leave."

"If that's what you want, just keep in mind that you can call me anytime you need help. I will let you know when u can leave"

"Thank you Doctor Sloan, I will"

"Hey Katie, Doctor Sloan" Kate's father came in and sho


	13. Confessions

_**Lovely readers, it was my intention to put so much drama into this before bringing them back together. So I wish you have some patience and keep reading. Otherwise I still appreciate your reviews and thoughts. That's what makes me write more.**_

_**Enjoy.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter 13: Confessions<strong>

"Ok, what is it Katie?" Jim sat down on the edge of the bed.

"This will sound selfish, but I didn't know what else to do at the time"

Looking very serious, Kate got her father's full attention.

"What did you do Katie?" Looking all concerned, Jim knew how stubborn Kate can get and from the look on her face, this time she went too far.

"Before the accident took place, I was on my way back from Castle's loft. I went to see Castle and tell him that I …. That I was pregnant"

With the mention of the last word, Jim moved his hand to cover his mouth. He understood now why she was so sad and broken, it wasn't just because of the accident, he knew that; but now it's all clear to him. She lost her baby in the accident.

"Hey dad, It's not what you think" She leaned forward and put her hand on her father's hand to reassure him.

"I didn't lose the baby".

That had an immediate effect on Jim. His eyes were full of happy tears, but still no words came out of his mouth.

"Dad, I'm really sorry for keeping this from you. I was so confused with everything that was happening recently with me and Rick, and I ..."

Kate was talking so fast like her life was depending on it; she didn't even give her father a chance to respond.

"You are pregnant!"

Kate's eyes shifted from looking at her own hands while she was talking, to the handsome man that was standing behind her father now.

Silence filled the room. Beckett looking all guilty and mad at the same time, while Castle was looking all hurt for finding out about all of this and Jim not knowing what to say in this situation; be angry or be happy. His daughter went too far this time with her stubbornness.

Jim took Kate's hand in both his hands and leaned in to kiss her forehead then stood up and said "you two need to sort things out, a lot to talk about" before leaving the room he put his hand on Castle's shoulder and then left closing the door behind him.

Both Castle and Beckett kept staring at each other for few seconds until Kate tore her attention of him with a sigh and put her hand on her forehead then through her hair, this wasn't what she planned to do.

She was going to take a break, hell she even decided to leave the force and resign, move to some place nice but far from New York and she was going to raise this baby alone. But this; she never saw this coming.

"How could you do this to me Beckett, what have I don't to deserve this"

Standing still in his place, hurt in his eyes. Kate looked up again; boy this is going to be a long … long day.

"What are you doing here Castle?" putting on her best angry look, trying to hide how thrilled she was to see him.

"Seriously now, when will you stop being so stubborn and start listening for a change? I just found out that you kept this big secret from me and you are asking me what I am doing here!"

Chasing around the room, trying to calm his anger before he says something to hurt her; even after all what she has done he cant lose control and hurt her. Specially not now, after finding out that he was going to be the father of her child, alittle piece of both of them.

"Maybe this baby is yours, but I don't know why you seem hurt and caring all of a sudden. What changed since the last time we met? Run out of hot dates?"

"What the hell are you talking about, that's not the subject now. You lied to me and you were going to take this baby and leave, tell me I am wrong"

He stopped walking around the room and looked at her, Kate wasn't looking at him.

"This is the subject Castle, you will never change and if you think now that you found out about the baby that you will become a new man, then; let me correct you, you are mistaken"

Turning her face to look at him in the eyes, they both new they have to come clean with all the selfish things they did to keep one another away. But Castle, was the first to break.

"Kate, I have never loved a woman in my life as much as I love you. That day when you came to see me, there was no date; I just said that because I thought you were seeing someone and I just… I just did that act to make it easy for you. I heard from the boys that you were having some secret phone calls that you didn't want them to know about and I assumed there was another guy, and it was only after 2 months since we ...you know been together. I was hurt that you found someone else, so yes I put on a little act just to make things easier"

"Woooh,, what ? I didn't meet someone else after that night… few weeks later I found out about the pregnancy; and I am going to kill the boys for spying on me. The secret phone calls were to my doctor; I didn't want anyone to find out about this"

Castle put both his hands on his face then through his hair. This all happened because they never come clean with each other. He knew Kate was stubborn, it was his job to dig through her walls and this, what happened is not only on her. It was also his fault, she was right; it all goes back to that night and he did hurt her back then.

"Look Kate" walking closer to where she was laying and sitting on the chair next to her bed he started talking with calm voice.

"Look at what our lack of communication got us to. I can't do this much longer Kate. You either let me into your life or you don't, it's that simple" putting his hand on hers he added

"I am sorry for what I did and said that night, I am sorry for making you believe that I was back to my old ways, but hell I am not sorry for falling in love with you" moving both his hand and hers and placing them on her belly.

"Not sorry for this. You have to choose now Kate. Now that everything is clear you have to choose "

Sitting in silence for mints, which seemed to be hours for Castle; who was waiting her answer eagerly. Kate spoke.

"What on earth brought you here anyway? I thought I made it clear that I don't want to see you again"

Looking confused, Castle didn't respond. This woman was going to be the death of him; the one time when he was being dead serious about something.

"Sneaking around late at night to people's room is not legal, especially when you lie and say you are engaged to them"

Shifting his eyes to look up at her, Kate wasn't looking at him, she was looking at their hands on her belly with a small smile formed on her lips.

"I II …"

Taking her hand away from his and lacing it with her other hand placing them on her stomach. While Castle's hand was still on her belly, Kate looking all serious said "Oh, feel free to answer all my questions now"

"Lanie told me all about it" was all he said.

"Lanie ! She doesn't know that I still have the baby"

"She didn't, she said she forgot her phone when she left here and when she came back to take it she heard your talk with the doctor and knowing you she knew you were going to do this alone. So, she came and told me everything and here I am.

"Was she mad? I didn't want to lie to her or any of you. I just didn't know what to do"

"Ah, she will get over it"

Looking at each other's eyes, they both saw hope in each other.

A knock on the door made Castle jump in his seat like he was a teenage boy who was doing something wrong, he removed his hand from Kate's belly and turned to see who it was.


End file.
